Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24)

do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2) 

 

I repent. lament and hope

Maybe two or three black individuals in my grade growing up, nestled in a beautiful loving mountain town, I didn’t understand the racism that remains in my country. I didn’t (and still don’t fully) understand how it needs to be addressed and uprooted. I have so much to learn.

 

My privilege both in opportunity and in the color of my skin must be stewarded in humility and grace for all. I do not need to feel guilty for what I have been handed, but in gratitude I’m called. Like my compassionate parents always reminded me, for those who have been given much, much will be expected. 

 

Like Jesus stripped himself of his high place and stepped into our suffering, I must do the same for oppressed people facing inequality as dignified beings bought at a price by the Lamb.

 

I have been exalted in position and the cards I’ve been dealt so I must humble myself to see it as it is… (from coming “Go Deeper” blog)

 

And that’s why I am excited to do @worldraceamerica come August 1st.

 

Until I step into others’ experience and listen to their pain, I cannot be like Christ who went to great lengths to love the racially oppressed and unheard of his society (the Samaritans – John 4 and Luke 10).

In addition, women weren’t allowed a voice in Jesus’ time yet many of the Gospel stories are with women. He offers them the waters of Grace and salvation. He literally says it’s better for a woman to learn than to housekeep (Luke 10:38-42). And He made women, whose testimony was counted worthless in the time, the first eyewitnesses to the single most important event in all of history.

 

Freshman year of college, I volunteered at a K-8 school in Portland once a week. I took my bike, felt free on my solo excursion off campus and had my heart flipped upside down.

 

I couldn’t fathom growing up like these kids. Where my school was 98% white growing up, this school was 98% other races.

Where my school was polished, safe, sound, this one lacked resources and order.

Where our families celebrated their children and nourished our every move and assignment, some of their parents were on food stamps unable to provide safety and resources though they’d love to, not fluent in English thereby unable to help their kids with homework, and some into drugs.

 

Where I went on a plane almost every year, most of them had never stepped foot in the air.

 

I shared my experience with my family coming home one break, and I just balled reflecting on the cards these souls have been handed.

 

Even so, an African American pastor came and spoke at our club Fish about racism and the need to search our hearts. He shared the reality of his existence where everywhere he goes he has to think about the color of his skin.

 

I think a little scared to face reality, I stood in the position that I’m not racist, so I don’t see why we need to focus on the difference. I even said something along those lines to a friend after the talk.

 

And to that I repent.  

Repentance, is rethinking and turning your behavior from sin.

 

Repenting and turning from sin like that of racism, with the justice Jesus Christ took on our behalf on the Cross, is necessary. If we don’t, the goodness set apart in God has to judge us with His justice.

 

“God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well. This will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven…He will punish” – 2 Thessalonians 1

 

Hearts with hatred can have no part with the God of love – why we need Jesus as our Savior.

My heart at times has evil in it, prideful judging or thinking less of another being made by God whether it be a homeless person on the street or someone who bothered me at school.

I needed and need my heart to be made new and justice to be had. Jesus’ blood does that for me. I no longer have to pay the penalty I deserve, and that is the glorious grace which is in Christ Jesus. 

 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11

 
In the posture of my amazing friend Valerie who did this graphic below (the other photos are mine from Chiang Mai), let‘s pray:

Forgive me Lord for not hearing the cry of people you love so dearly and not stepping into their pain for even a moment of discomfort when their lives can be continuous discomfort. 

Forgive me for not being the Good Samaritan – the one that takes no regard for anything but loving my neighbor, who may be really different than me, but who deserves, in your eyes, care that goes to extreme lengths even if it’s at my own cost.

Forgive me for any stereotypes or assumptions that have been in me, and those that I don’t recognize.

 
May His forgiveness and compassion fall over the United States, and may that same forgiveness and compassion be offered for every man, no matter their past, political party, color of skin, ignorance, beliefs, or deeds (Galatians 3:26-29).

May God you change the hearts of our police force and empower them to protect us with strength and justice. 

May increased equality and freedom in America be an inspiration and realization brought to the entire world

oh boy does every nation need it, just read my other blog – imagine it illegal to chose your religion if you are a certain ethnicity or illegal to speak a word against your leader.

May we be unified across the world and may you send workers to harvest salvation all over in power, signs and wonders. 

 

May we act knowing we are better than no one, above no one. Help us to submit to others, submit to the leadership of those less given it, submit to your leadership over our lives most of all (that is where abundant life is found – John 10). 

God continue to open my eyes – He has been lately through African Americans I deeply respect…

I am so sorry for what happened to George Floyd and the fear it puts in black souls that it’d wrongly happen to them too. 

 

My heart is hurting for our world especially coming back from my removed time in the desert. 

I lament the evil (NOT God) that has been at work in the human heart since the beginning to treat others so horribly from the untouchables in India to Jews in Germany to Muslims in Myanmar to African Americans in my own country. 

 

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The day after I received the gift of tongues. The sermon that night was about how the move of God in Portland would be led by the poor and least expected in society. A lot about compassion. 

 

So I went on a bike ride the day after to see if I could still talk in tongues, yup, it just freely flowed out as I rode.

I prayed at this park amazed by it all. I was led to make a turn by this park and ended up sitting on this bench.

It was in front of a church. I sat there and watched African American families joyfully go inside. I felt this sense that God was highlighting something to me, calling me there. Calling me to step into black communities and God’s heart for all tribes and tongues to lead the global Church. Calling me to be uncomfortable and for the Church to unite as one (John 17).

 

I haven’t thought about that much, but I want to now.

 

My African American squad mates expressed the burden of being a black missionary called overseas. They inspired me in their bravery in being in the great minority of missionaries that look like them.

Not only did these friends receive criticism from their communities for leaving when there is so much to do locally and have additional difficulty fundraising, they also faced racism abroad that hindered them. With the whiter foreigners getting the most attention from locals (sadly whiter skin seems to be preferred in Asia and South America, seemingly per the history of people who got more sun laboring outside being associated with lower classes). 

Despite it all, one of these squad mates absolutely renewed my perspective to see Kingdom coming amid the fear and panic of the world (all of the destruction and pains and diseases were prophesied in the first place).

 

 

Here is some of her wisdom she messaged me…

The time now is to prepare for Christ return, and cry out for mercy because our whole nation needs to repent and it IS possible. Mercy will bring down the walls of ALL injustice, or will soften hardened hearts, it will restore the fear of God to a nation, and it will bring about the repentance needed to heal our land. And don’t forget Luke 18 that says that He will bring justice quickly to those who cry out to Him day and night. Now more than ever the prayer movement is needed and we need to be seeking His face and crying out to Him.

Holy Spirit will not allow you to be misinformed if we continue to abide in Christ. 

We gotta remain on the side of Christ, and when God Himself was asked who’s side He was on, His answer was simply “neither” Joshua 5:13-14 continue reading here. But so will my answer be. I am on the side of the Lord.

People who feel afraid, I understand. But, we who know Christ don’t fear for our lives. We know that or live is Christ to die is gain. Our priority should remain what it was in the beginning as written in scripture, preaching the gospel of the Kingdom, because if you know Jesus and accept Christ, you live in light of eternity and you know that if you were to die by the hands of another, or by the corona virus, or by anything, you have a home in Heaven with Jesus

If we are driven by the love of God to preach the gospel to all people He will definitely back us and it’s His anointing that penetrates the heart of man, not our words alone. 

 

This video she shared with me is a must watch on all of this (an African American couple and Christian leader speak eye opening truth):

 

I’ll follow Him.

And I’ll repent of my ignorance and through the power and strength of the Holy Ghost alone, treat black lives as nothing less than dignified image bearers of The Maker entitled to every right and privilege that I am.

 

God is with the oppressed (Psalm 9:9), so much so that he would become oppressed himself. He died on the Cross that all could be free. More than that he took all the evil on his shoulders and overcame it for us (John 16:33).

 

He is patiently waiting to make everything right. 

 

Someday he’ll come back. The Kingdom will be our reality where the first are last and the last first (Matthew 20:16). 

 

Waiting until all ethnic groups have the chance to accept his free gift of salvation (Matthew 24:14), willing that all would join Him in eternal love and glory (2 Peter 3:9).  

 

“And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?

….

But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” – Luke 18

 

“‘The Spirit of the Lord is on me,

    because he has anointed me

    to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners

    and recovery of sight for the blind,

to set the oppressed free,

    to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.’”

– Luke 4 

This is the Kingdom Jesus is bringing…

“He began by saying to them, ‘Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.’”

 

This is God’s heart

Now we can partake in His endless, reckless Grace by this…

 

“Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.” – James 1:27 (caring for the most oppressed and vulnerable in society)

  

Make no mistake about it evil still roams the earth, but one day all will be made right in the best love story of all time.

As for now we must prepare for his coming…

 

“You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells.

So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him.” – 2 Peter 3

“We ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love all of you have for one another is increasing. Therefore, among God’s churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring” – 2 Thessalonians 1

 

 

What do we do in a disease and riot-filled land?

We trust in His promises.

We live submitted under God and make it our goal to honor goodness which is in God, shown perfectly in the person of Christ which we can both commune with and follow.

Find peace in the Prince of Peace on the daily just by going to God and His Word and His people that much more. By the power of the Holy Spirit, grow and become so loving and persevering through all these trials.

 

 

“God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

“He who was seated on the throne said, ‘I am making everything new!’ Then he said, ‘Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.’

He said to me: ‘It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life.'” -Rev 21

 

I rely on the God that is not shaken nor surprised by what’s happening though it hurts him – just as Jesus wept (John 11:35). 

The still voice in the storm

Our Rock

 

“All the nations you have made

    will come and worship before you, Lord;

    they will bring glory to your name.”

-Psalm 86 

 

Here is a little bit of the diversity, freedom, supernatural joy, and release that is Heaven on Earth…

 

It is yours…

 

“If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 

For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. 

As Scripture says, ‘Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.’ 

For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, ‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’” – Romans 10

 

 

Jesus followers let‘s preach. Like the end times video says if you don’t have enough faith, just ask God to help you in your unbelief. For the world is passing away, but Jesus. Jesus is everything!

“…How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent?

As it is written: ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!’” – Romans 10