Training Camp: I’ll never be the same

I have you held in the palm of my hand, never flee, neither will I. I’ll take care of this week, your homework, your friendships, your family, because you are mine. You are completely mine.

I am tired from a week and a half of sleeping outside, 1 shower, endless sessions, scenario training, team bonding in Georgia.

This week was heaviness to freedom.

And I type this on an airplane, heading back to college life, but in reality, a changed woman, a changed woman of God. His light relentlessly reaches me and teaches me.

I am actually doing this, living in discomfort and stepping into dark places so foreign to me for a year, and so are all these people in the picture below.

These are my squad mates going on the January Route to Southeast Asia and Southern Africa. A little bit ago they were strangers, now we are each other’s community. How people come and go in life, and how amazed I am that I get to do life with these vibrant individuals and personalities coming from a plethora of backgrounds.

They are such cool people, that I found myself drowning in comparison at one point. Yet I ended camp sharpened by their fierce, lively relationships with God. We all work together as essential parts of the body of Christ.

(note to self: like Chutes and Ladders image given months ago)

There is no time seeking God that is wasted.

 

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The worship sessions and spiritual moments at training camp are beyond description. Still, I want to try and share some of them…

(italicized parts from my journal entries at training camp)

One of the first nights, in what became know as the “C-Squad style” prayer circles, I felt my heart pacing to go in the center of the circle and ask for prayer. All the talks so far had been about having a “yes” in our spirit, so I went ahead and admitted my need for help.

I described hard situations I had recently been through, loved ones on my heart, and the overall hesitation I was feeling. A wise and prophetic woman named Fifina said she heard God say “Be still and know that I am God” (PS 46:10) and He will make everything beautiful in His time (Ecclesiates 3:11). A man from a hard background told me it’s not your burden to carry. Another spoke Shalom over me which was also spoken over me this summer.

These words couldn’t have been more necessary, as I was feeling I needed to prove something. Turns out, of course I didn’t.

A time of humbling, a time of trust, a time where God is God, and I am not

And during needed personal time, I took a walk into the forest. Minus a spider landing on me, I was at home in nature and wrote:

The reality is my God is Still the God that found me looking up at a circle of trees blowing in the wind with the backdrop of the sky as I am right now, that loved me, rejuvenated me with the sweetest intimacy.

He directs my thoughts and path as he always has, He hears my prayers, He died on the Cross and shed his precious blood for the sake of every human who would answer his call of love in their hearts.

I could turn away from this, live comfortably. I choose abundant life and the redemption of lost and hurting people who only can find rest in Christ Jesus crucified, and Risen…

God was doing serious work in all of us accelerated by common struggles we shared: like laying down part of our lives at the altar like Abraham did with Isaac and being called to repair relationships. 

At one point, we prayed for God to highlight someone in the room to us. Morgan popped up into my head. I imagined her hands forcing out light and power, with treasure in heart and God’s plan steadfast (see above). I go up to her to share, and her faced was shocked.

At the very moment I tapped her shoulder, she had been debating if she would share a word she just got for me. Her word was bitterness that I might feel, that God is still good, that He hears all iniquity and injustice, and to continue praising Him.

Out of around a hundred people, we both were highlighted to each other. Crazy, because I figured out I actually was bitter and needed to work through that.

God aligns our diverse stories and uses us to simultaneously heal each other:

During one session, I felt I needed to ask someone to pray over me about a specific thing. I see one girl who had just shared having a similar struggle, so I ask her. She prays for me. Then she starts crying, and says she just had a phone call forgiving someone and also needs prayer. I pray over her and tell her she is strong.

And the moment of my entire trip:

Sweet Ashley comes up and says, “I see you sitting on God’s lap, and He’s ready to answer any question you have.” After I had raised my hands in response to wanting more of God’s power to run through me, the beautiful ginger walks up to me when I was sitting down…

My hands are open, she comes up and puts her thumbs in the palm of my hands. Peace that is weightless flows through her prayer.

She says: “Thank you God that these are hands of healing, Your hands were pierced right here with nails, thank you for her heart, that she is humble, that she will pour out love, thank you that you have a lot to teach her, but that she is rooted in you. Thank that her roots will go down deep and flow out like living water to everyone she meets and bear fruit, she won’t run dry, your healing will pour out of her, she will make you known…living water…living water”

I open my eyes, she says “your stunning, I see it in your eyes pools of living water. I think you may be called into full-time ministry. You’re exactly where you are supposed to be.”

Years ago, on my missions trip to Nicaragua, our leader got an image of me playing in water with the verse-whoever believes in me, living water shall flow through their heart (John 7:38). You can check out my Instagram bio(@hanjanmit) and know this has been my theme verse for my life ever since. So, it comes as no surprise that I gasped when she said that prayer (yesterday I drew the pools of living water in my eyes).

Later that night a really difficult moment happened, and the enemy was whispering a lot of lies. I broke down after experiencing the greatest spectrum of feelings I had really ever felt in that short of a time span (and full-time ministry haha idk about that). I called my leader down to talk and pray. A now dear friend was also there for me in that moment, and I was able to be there for her later on in the week.

Over several worship sessions God showed me the image below in how to move on from that difficult moment.

It’s as though the Cross takes our baggage, flies it away, and releases it into freedom and life. Not to mention birds have been the prominent symbol all throughout my journey in deciding to do The World Race.

Never have I been somewhere where so many people are getting prophetic dreams and visions; God speaking so individually to us.

Do you know how beautiful the redness on your cheeks are-human and humbled

Love me all the days of your life and you will never go wrong never grow weary. See Me. I am right by your side holding your hand.

Let there be more love in my heart then there has ever been

Right after saying I don’t feel as safe as I do at my churches. The worship leader brings up He is not safe, He is good. Like a lion, He is the most dangerous being in the world, yet you can run to him for protection like in Narnia.

 

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The coaches that will visit us on the field reminded me so much of my parents, and I teared up thinking about it. They gave the encouragement in hard times of seeing God’s goodness in the land of the living, Psalm 27.

I learned again that, even when I want to go my own way, it is always better to follow the leading of God. It resulted in some needed conversations and connections. Like how I got special time with Stephanie who also is from Colorado.

They also did a Sabbath day, and they used my church in Portland’s podcast to teach us about it! (I found out on the Race we will have one adventure day and one sabbath day each week!)

Above, is my immediate team that I will 24/7 be doing ministry with. Our leaders formed our teams through prayer and observing team-building activities throughout the week. I am so excited to do life with Austin, Kenia, John, Em (she’s from Australia:)), Kenz, and John all of whom I feel a special connection with. I am the story leader for my team, which means I’ll keep us accountable for blogging and sharing our experiences on the field.

Next, we got free time in Gainseiville with our teams. The basic prompt for the day was to ask God who is on His heart.

10/24 marked the first day of world race ministry, boldness came naturally surrounded by believers. Asking people if they need prayer, simply love, over a homeless woman, over Mexican families Kenia and Raquel in beautiful Spanish, in a record store, over the waitress, a disabled man coming to sit by another team on his birthday. 

Praying for McKenzie’s sprained ankle, and the amazement that it felt so much better right after we prayed for her. Turns out someone, another team was talking with, seemed apprehensive, until she happened to watch our celebration after praying for the healing.

Unity in our team, sharing gifts and stories, lifting each other (encouragement they gave me-strength, power, a soft and compassionate heart), excitement for life. Pray for John’s heavy head and cold, and he felt SO much better immediately. I believe these are healing hands, and my God can do anything. Ministry is spontaneous, loving and dignifying, beyond routine.

Not only was that the first time my prayers for healing were immediately answered, but I saw numerous people healed in an instant. Someone’s legs shaking after her migraine left at the speaker’s prayer, back pain healed, a left arm healed, etc.

 

A girl called Eva or Katy, on another squad, had an incredible story from that day. Her dad died at age 6, leading her to not talk for two years of her life, but God redeemed her. On our ministry day she felt like she would talk to a blonde girl. At a bookstore, she wrote “your father loves you a lot” and verses in a book she bought. At the end of the day she sees a blonde girl with her mom and gives her the book. The mom starts balling and so does the girl; their dad had just died and the girl too was 6 years old.

 

It’s people like Eva, or someone who was on my team adopted from Ethiopia, or someone on my team who is trying to pave the way for black missionaries that I got to meet.  

Somehow I am here, writing this in yellow light, with over a hundred people from across the world pouring out, dancing out their love for Jesus. None of us can contain it, no one could in the first place.

Monday we all return to our work, to school, to routine, to the walk we separately live out. January, we begin a walk together without a salary to make or a degree to finish. Instead, we step further into our eternal mission to love Christ and the Ghost and Abba, and to love people of all people groups…

But I know that in God I have all I need.

The beginning of this week was a purging of the darkness and chains we all brought in, the end of the week is a consuming lightness and hope that we will all bring into our respective homes. I TRUST YOU LORD

As I worshiped, I imagined Jesus a lion, close, but small, at first, as the song persisted, the Lion grew in stature and size and my hands raised up to reach for His Holiness. Because I am small, and He is big. I am weak, and He is not. I am insecure, He is sure.

Tomorrow is a day I will never forget. Today is a day within eternity. Forever yours God. Forever yours God

Grace and Peace  

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lol if you want even more information about what I learned about training camp read on….

Adventures in Missions (The World Race) became an organization I can trust. They always had Q&As where all of our doubts were addressed. They lay out human dignity guidelines for storytelling. They went through an extensive vetting of all their ministry partners across the world measuring them based on effectiveness and sustainability for the local communities. They tell us to always respect and honor culture, while bringing the Truth and hope and love of Christ within their context and their rituals, always leading with compassion. And the staff, well they are incredibly spirit-led and kind.

The whole World Race program has been reformed and structured to be effective. They pray over our names before even looking at our applications. We have a squad mentor leading frequent debriefs throughout the year. We have squad leaders who have already done the race and a married couple as our coaches visiting us several times on the field.

Training camp itself is to ensure that we are ready for this year. We slept in tents, took cold bucket showers, ate international foods (ate crickets!), dressed like we would in different regions of the world, and went through scenario training like if our bags were stolen at the airport.

Training camp was composed of countless sessions on anything from forgiveness, to Kingdom, to being a woman of God, to cultural understanding, to ministry (not trying to westernize, just trying to show love). Dynamic speakers came in and poured out pitchers of knowledge. For instance, one speaker had been widowed at one point and her son committed suicide, yet she and her current husband poured love and preparation into us.

One speaker outlined God’s original covenant God made with Abraham. In those days, animals were split in half when two people made a covenant. Each member would walk through the center of the sacrificed animals, symbolizing each taking responsibility for their part of the promise or the penalty of death. In God’s original covenant God passes through twice, once in the form of fire, resembling that He would uphold both ends of the promise and take the penalty of death. Ultimately, that was fulfilled in Jesus. God’s goal has always been universal reconciliation for universal worship. And our job is to show everyone that they were BORN TO BE LOVED.

That same speaker walked us through honoring cultures that are more shame/honor based. To them the Gospel is Good News because Jesus became shame on the Cross to restore honor and adopt many into His family and appoint them as co-heirs with Christ (Romans 8:17). For fear/power tribal cultures Jesus ultimately overcame everything on the Cross and resurrected, silencing fear and protecting us with all authority in the spiritual realm (Matthew 28:18). For guilt/innocence cultures, like ours, Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice for our inability to save ourselves, He is with us, and He personally pursues us and knows us (PS 139:13).

The reality is 40% of all people groups are statistically likely to never hear the Gospel. There is more money embezzled by pastors than given to international missions. The place with the most missionaries is the US, even though the Gospel is so accessible in the US. Very few people go to the 10/40 window where most unreached people groups are, and for the first half of my trip, I will be in that window.

This is serious; this is important. Beyond statistics, I saw just this week the spiritual battle of darkness and light. One squad spent hours praying against spiritual attacks. There is no fear to be had, however, as when I resist the devil, he must flee; no weapon formed against us will prosper (James 4:7, Isaiah 54:17).

At training camp, I experienced the depth of faith, the battle of Kingdom work, the abandonment from all I know, and the abundant life already. This year is going to be hard and open my eyes. I can’t wait to trust God and grow in intimacy as I step out that much more alongside wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ.

For now, I cherish my last weeks at my beloved University of Portland with my eyes and time set on Jesus.