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I don’t want to gloss over 

people’s suffering

I don’t want to overlook

the skinny woman on the street

 

we walked past her, stopped for her

her name is Sarita 

 

could you pray for her?

unlike the majority in Costa Rica,

she didn’t want prayer 

she didn’t believe in God

 

so we kept walking…

I watched her defeated soul walk away

and I couldn’t keep going – 

we had to turn around and go back to her

 

an awesome, authentic local with us, Tavo, said 

that’s the Holy Spirit

 

so we went

 

I told her in Spanish we only want to listen to you

facing the street, leaning against the wall

broken, so so broken and defeated, she cried bitterly

”I have no family, my kids have forgotten about me, nothing to live for, I have no hope, I don’t want to live”

 
Jesus loves you. Jesus suffers with us. He did on the Cross

God is crying about it all

you were beautifully and wonderfully made

I look at you, and I see beauty

it’s the enemy and people that are to blame

you were made for a reason

“to suffer?” She says

we were led two times just to come to you, and love you

You deserve love 

 

“Thank you but I don’t believe so.

I’m not interested in God.”

 

That’s okay, because God is so interested in you

 

she decided when she was young that 

God couldn‘t exist

when an 8 year old gets raped and abandoned

 

we let it linger

I’m so so sorry

 

I asked for a second time if I could touch her

She shook her sweet, beautiful head ya

I swayed my finger on her shoulder for comfort 

and as we said bye I got to hug her hurting soul

robbed of it all

 

I know it mattered

I know we went evangelizing today 

for her

to show her she’s seen

we didn’t fully understand but it sounded like she was planning on taking her life soon

Like Tavo and Nathan and Gaby said, it’s God’s work now

 

our host, Gaby, has been in a similar dark place as this woman

and she’s a living testimony that freedom from trauma and addiction in Christ Jesus is possible. Abundant life is possible coming from any situation, when He comes in

Another woman struggling with crazy hardship accepted Christ today. The same day we met Sarita. Another man had his leg healed from a prayer today. We’ve had incredible divine moments like these too (Woman in a red tank top, Yellow house). 


We just didn’t get to see that

at all today

We didn’t even get to commune with her through prayer

we just got to hear her cries and be there

 

This is her lived existence, and I better be willing to sit in the sorrow and brokenness of it even for a moment. Jesus did for all of us in agony

 

“Who, being in very nature God,

    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
    by taking the very nature of a servant,
    being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
    he humbled himself
    by becoming obedient to death—
        even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
    and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
    to the glory of God the Father.” – Philippians 2


This is not the end of your story Sarita, Jesus has so much more, so much love, so much purpose for you

But until that day, know this we see you and are with you

Spirit surround her

cover her

make us new

 

*Even though my fundraising bar doesn’t show it, I still need $2000 for the rest of squad leading, you can donate on the top of this page if you’re led

 

3 responses to “The woman we met who wanted to die”

  1. Hannah, thank you for sharing! This blog is so moving! Your statement “I better be willing to sit in the sorrow and brokenness of it even for a moment. Jesus did for all of us in agony” is incredibly powerful. We are praying fir Sarita, for you and for your team.

  2. My sweet friend, you’re full of compassion and it inspires me. You see people. You have God’s heart for the broken-hearted. Keep planting seeds. Praying for Sarita now!!

  3. The things the Spirit leads us to do can be quite unique and confusing in the moment but the only important thing is we follow through. Thank you for sharing this story Hannah!!