Hello person that is loved, 

Here is a blog about important topics, culture, and some thoughts of my experience now that I’ve been back home for awhile. I pray favor and blessing on every one of you that will read these words.

Feel free to keep the conversation going, I know there is a whole lot more for me to learn and understand, and remove my American lens at times. 

It would seem gratitude will get us through these times.

Corona has changed our lives. It certainly changed mine.

Walking into my house, I was automatically hit with so many luxuries I did not have days before. After only two and a half months there is reverse-culture shock.

Corona has stripped so much from people. For the first time for many, simply surviving and getting by has been put into question.

Through being stripped of distraction, comfortability, and luxury though, I believe God will spark revival. He did in me, and I hope he will continue to all my days and maybe if I relaunch on the Race. My heart is desiring to more and more (we will know more about our options end of May). 

We will be led to the point where we have no other gods but the one true God. We won’t be able to depend on anything else but Him. We will realize that He is completely sufficient to meet our every need. HE IS ABUNDANTLY ENOUGH

And there is hope and mercy for every person whoever you are, wherever you come from, and whatever you did or have been through.

Jesus’ Kingdom looks likes this (Matthew 5)…

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

Lord, I am grateful for these 37 things (please read #37)…

*Everything below is based on personal experience and observation that I think is important to share, not meant to generalize or misrepresent anyone or any place. Truth and big topics like some of these are always more complex than a mere mortal like me can observe in a couple months.

I believe no one is better than anyone else; we are all fallen, yet we are all made in the image of God.

We all have a complex history, personality, and motivations, including every culture and government, both upsides and downsides.

There are parts of other nations I just absolutely love like the vibrant, cultural traditions and beautiful scenery,

slow pace or relationality, passion and grit, light-hearted fun, humility, ability to accept pain and go deeper overall/see the need for spirituality, and common and unified ethical norms.

I love culture and love people of every religion and ethnicity and nation. There are certain things about home though that I am abundantly grateful for and hope we can count these blessings. 

1. Freedom of speech

I have a whole blog I wrote my first month about this, yet I didn’t post it due to the freedom of speech issue. It was the most frustrating thing for the first time in my life to be restrained in expressing my beliefs and acting upon them. It might just be the most important thing to me in a country; a basic human right that should not be suppressed. I arrived back in America, and I could say exactly what I was doing and could tell anyone anything; I am more grateful than ever for this privilege as I am using it right now in this blog. 

2. Freedom of religion and to gather

Oh boy, this is heartbreaking to me.

According to the testimonies I’ve heard from locals, countries I have been to can make life for people of minority religions or ethnicities disadvantaged. In my first country, that I love so much (so much so I wished at the time to stay there the whole year) there are some things I really don’t love. 

It is requirement by law to have a religion on your ID card and there are limited options to choose from. Being an atheist in that country is straight up illegal. Some converts to Christianity will not change their religion on their ID card so they won’t be treated worse or with less opportunity.

It is illegal in the second country for the majority ethnicity to be anything but Muslim. I was told a leader who converted disappeared and that churches that have seated this ethnicity have been shut down.

I pictured being able to do my favorite thing – pray over strangers or share Jesus or worship in public, but even local Christians were telling me not to do so. It made me angry since the context of the letters of the New Testament is an oppressive Roman government that would burn and martyr Christians, yet they still preached on street corners.

I was in a pretty modern place my first month so they were more tolerant. Yet when I went to a certain Island I met these adorable girls. After minutes they started making crosses with their hands and shaking their heads in honestly a bit of hatred. They couldn’t speak our language, but they were sure to communicate that they did not approve that we were Christians. Taught at such a young age, to not like us, it is sad. Yet, a Muslim friend of ours kindly explained to them, it is okay that they are different, say you are sorry. 

Thank God all the countries I went to still had freedom to gather. I can’t fathom going to or living in countries where this isn’t the case, where holding a Bible is illegal, where gathering is done in secret and in fear.

Muslims I know are peaceful and wonderful people. Yet there is genuine fear for people who are thinking of converting of being killed or abandoned as their book actually commands it (Sura 5:33 – “the penalty for those who wage war against Allah and His Messenger and strive upon earth [to cause] corruption is none but that they be killed or crucified or that their hands and feet be cut off from opposite sides or that they be exiled from the land. That is for them a disgrace in this world; and for them in the Hereafter is a great punishment.”)

Years ago I watched The Silence and balled in my room as I realized the persecution Christians face and how I should be willing to literally die for Jesus.

Watch this soul-moving trailer about people going towards the gun shots and pain of the persecuted. Some of my squadmates watched it in Asia with people who were shown the movie by the main guy in the movie himself! Watch it on Amazon and become educated, as I was, on the absolute unimaginable evil people live in and support Free Burma Rangers who are bringing hope in dangerous places. 

3. Freedom to criticize and question the government

In the last country, where my time was cut short, we were told to answer every question concerning the King, “I don’t know, he is a good guy.” Although previous king was truly considered a great king, the new one lives in Europe and is questionable according to people who live there, but you do not to say that. Stepping on money with a leader’s face is illegal and pictures are everywhere of this King. 

Other countries respect for authority can be cool I think. This is called power distance index in cultural study. However, I am personally grateful to live in a country and work for businesses where equality is the core value. If you study doing business in countries like these, decisions are often solely trusted to the leader. 

Speaking words against the government or their central faith whether it be Buddhism or Islam is a definite no, no in these countries. 

4. Nondiscriminatory opportunity

Though America still seems to have work to do in terms of not discriminating, it seems to be even rougher in countries where there is a nationally declared religion and where leadership is less diverse. My Indian pastor in my second country and my Chinese friends both claimed how much systematically harder it is for their ethnicity/religion to succeed and how even the schooling can be separated and less supported by the government.

I had a grab (like uber) driver tell me people of the Muslim faith in the second country are treated with preference when accidents occur even if they are not native.

5. Police that I can trust

Bribery is common in some countries. If you have the money, you can pay them off. Many do not trust the police and authorities in countries around the world. 

6. Healthcare that I can trust

My American hosts the first month said they avoid going to the doctors there. They had a really bad experience with a condition that was wrongly dealt with and identified. My squadmate who is a nurse went to the doctors in this country and was shocked at the system and lack of sanitation. 

My heart breaks for the many countries around the world during this pandemic. Our hospital beds and testing and ventilators are a huge blessing. The education of our health care professionals is incredible. I truly trust them. 

One of the team’s placement the first month was so remote, the town didn’t even have a hospital.

7. The U.S. Education system 

I am so incredibly grateful for the education I was able to receive. It blows my mind how few people in the world are able to go to college. I pray we as Americans use our education not in pride or for the pursuit of power or money, but to help people and work in passion. With everything everyone says about my generation, I see my generation truly having a heart for this. I also see it in the first country with local peers who are so intelligent and are pursuing careers in everything from engineering to teaching to business. 

There are many well educated people in the countries I went to and seemingly great colleges. However, the town I lived in in my second country it is not the case. They are poorer and my friends graduating from high school seem to not even consider going to college. I pray education improves in every nation that all can receive no matter their religion, ethnicity, or gender. 

I’m grateful that I have endless opportunity and options. Even opportunity to play sports as a woman in America is just unparalleled. The investment into women’s soccer is something I am so grateful for in America (go USA women’s soccer team!!). I experienced the difference as we had sports day every Monday my first month. (p.s. Sports day was soooo fun! returning me to my athletic roots)

8. A government with checks and balances, representatives, not a centrally planned economy

From my understanding, there are endless political parties and still democratic voting, yet not representative, so it is hard to have leaders that represent your change-making desires. I also heard bribery is also common for high leadership, paying your way to the top.

In the second country, I had a Chinese man describe to me the difficulties of economy due to the government’s control. They have started to let outside investment in a specific city, and it has helped the economy. The leaders of this city are Chinese who often feel restricted by the country’s government of a different ethnicity in terms of investment.

I am grateful for business opportunity and innovation in the States. It is clear though that Asian countries also have this in splendor; it just depends on where you are.

9. A society educated on our impact to the environment

I was planning on writing a blog on this at the end of my 11 months. After a theology from ecological perspectives class in college, my heart was burdened for our environment, the climate, and how our actions seem to disproportionally affect the poor who lack infrastructure. 

 

  

10. Clean water

We all know this is one of the most pressing issues across the world right now and will be. I am so grateful that I grew up in Colorado with refreshing mountain water.

On the field, we discuss how every single one of our automatics is taken away: even brushing our teeth is changed. Everywhere you go, you must think twice about the ice you consume and what water you brush your teeth with. 

We actually, like I said, were in way more developed areas than the rest of the Race would be in. Still, we only drank water out of big water containers, no tap. Our third country’s water’s taste was not great.

Humbled, I just have to say we are very blessed in many ways. Thankfully, Jesus is always for those poor physically or in spirit. 

11. Insect bites that I can trust

12. A closet with options

So I lived out of a backpack for months, re-wearing the same clothes over and over again. Only two pair of shoes and a couple weeks worth of clothes with me. 

Many of the locals I met also wore the same clothes over and over again, especially the poorest that do not have the plethora of options that we do. 

Walking into my closet at home was insane. I cannot believe how much clothes I have.

Funny enough, though, I have been wearing like the same clothes over and over again, I miss living off of so little.

Stripped, you might just face reality and God and life more freely and honestly. Bridgetown Church is going to do a sermon series on minimalism – I am looking forward to that. 

I’ll never forget giving a shirt to a pimp at a lower-class red light district. And the worst thing I saw my entire trip was there, where a baby was living in a stand with her mother who gets by through selling her body. I can’t imagine my friends there during this epidemic and struggling economy. This, makes me abundantly grateful for the house I have to go to and that my parents still have work and so much more.

It was our privilege to pray over these souls that God loves so much, continue to pray for women that have been tricked or left with no option but to live like this. 

13. A room to myself

In the size of my one room slept 11 girls for a month. I did not realize how important my alone time at night to settle down is to me. I really struggled having so many people in one room every night.

14. A bed

For that entire month I slept on the ground, without a pillow, side by side to everyone else’s sleeping pads. My comfy bed is something to be so grateful for especially considering so there are people in the world that live without that their whole lives.

15. Windows with a view

Part of what was so hard about the second month was our room had no windows. I feel trapped when I’m not able to look outside…I bet many of you feel that during quarantine. I hope you can take walks in the fresh air.

16. A refrigerator with options

Opening my refrigerator was like opening Mary Poppin’s purse when I got home. Endless options, instead of whatever was fed to us. Not going to lie, I ate pretty well my first months as I love Asian food. But still, I love the diversity of cuisine in the U.S.

 17. Phone service

I only had phone service on Wi-Fi. My second month, we didn’t even have Wi-Fi at our house. So I went days without the internet. The worst part is when you are trying to get somewhere and you don’t have service for directions or for ordering a grab (uber). We would often go to malls to get service and sit there for hours to soak up all the internet time we could get…it got sort of overwhelming. 

Being out of the house and able to text people wherever I want is still something I gladly am readjusting to.

But I will say, freedom from watching too much TV, being on social media, and constantly in two places at once is so essential.

Screen time and digital distraction can greatly harm our spiritual lives and our self-confidence, awareness, and ability to be present to the people and moment in front of us. 

This being so, I’ve been spending a day each week not using my phone (thanks to Bridgetown Church’s emphasis on Sabbath). I encourage you to practice discipline and fight for your mental health by getting off your screens. In my life, as screen consumption goes down (let me tell you I used to watch soooo much TV), my contentment goes up especially if it’s finding rest in the one who takes my burdens (Matthew 11:29). 

At the same time, wow, do I love the voice social media gives so many across the world. And I am so grateful I can stay in touch with so many people across the world through modern technology.

The Gospel is certainly advancing through technology! And I get to be a part of that:) watch this amazing podcast on that

18. Alone time

I cannot overemphasize how hard it was for me to not have this much. I need it. I refresh my soul with it. I get overwhelmed being around big groups too much.

Going on hikes alone with my journal and Bible and prayer changed everything for me in high school.

Though it is always good to surrender and to grow in the challenge of close community. In it, you will find fullness of life.

But don’t forget, that Jesus went alone in the wilderness to practice silence and solitude all the time too!

19. Dogs to hug

If you know me, you know I love my big dogs and cuddling with them. Abroad, many dogs can act different than I’m used to, and you have to be careful about rabies.

I’ll never forget how devastating the starving stray dogs in Nicaragua were.

I am so grateful to draw close to the breathe of my dogs and bond in healing moments with those balls of love and joy on the daily again.

Fun fact though, the countries I went to had a lot of dogs as pets, and they were much more like the dogs in the US than in Nicaragua. Still, we got barked at viscously on our walks to church our second month.

20. Toilet paper

I know, I know, we are limited in our supply of toilet paper these days. But, in 
Asian countries it is a complete gamble if there will be toilet paper in public! They seem to all use water/hoses to clean themselves. It is Racer 101 to bring toilet paper in your bag wherever you go. 

Also the plumbing of these places can’t handle toilet paper, so you have to put your used toilet paper in the trash (it was the same in Nicaragua). Yes, all 10 of us girls did this in one bathroom attached to our room.

21. Western bathrooms

Squatty potties are the norm. I got used to it. It actually is more sanitary, but boy is it nice to count on the toilets I am used to everywhere I go. 

A lot of public bathrooms would have a mixture of both types of toilets. Interestingly, many people in the countries I went to wait in front of a stall rather than making a long line. 

Our homes’ bathrooms had a toilet and a shower in the same space. Wet bathrooms tend to equal clean bathrooms. So we would shower in the same place where we went to the bathroom. I am grateful to have a separate shower with plenty of power and temperature adjustment again!

22. Independence

I did not know how independent I am until I went on the Race. I like to rely on my own strength or God’s strength. My own plans or God’s plans. My own thoughts or God’s thoughts. Not anyone else’s. It was a great lesson that depending on people some is an absolutely beautiful thing, and I need to surrender my independence for Kingdom Family – working together, seeking feedback, living together, being vulnerable, praying in everything, lifting each other up.

23. Choosing my own schedule

I have a very clear vision of my purposes and my days. I can be laser focused on my goals and not interruptible. That won’t do on the Race. Every day is unpredictable, and you usually follow others order’s and plans.

Even free days it was hard to plan your own thing, since we weren’t supposed to go alone places (unless you were in certain cities) and at times would be coordinating plans with up to 30 people when numerous teams would get together. 

A difficult lesson to yield to others and put them before myself. To leave room for margin and be interruptible for the moment of blessing God has for me each day.

24. Safety

I could not be more blessed in terms of safety growing up. In my hometown/at my house we are more fearful of bears or mountain lions than we are of crime.

Our houses needed to have bars around the windows abroad, and we needed to carry our backpacks in front of us as we walked through markets. 

Miss this house and these people. 

But what shook me even more was hearing stories of growing up in a South American country from a friend. She has been robbed and held up by gun point numerous times. Their car windows must be dark so no one can see in. They carry an extra phone with them since it is almost a given that you will be robbed. 

25. Cool Weather

Heat can slow you down. I have to say I am grateful for the crisp snow and mountain breeze I have again.

26. Adjusting room temperature

27. Colorado traffic/driving

The traffic of our first country seemed crazy to me.

Yes, my fellow Coloradins, Colorado traffic is not that bad after all. Coming home and driving in a car by myself, wherever I wanted, was a super freeing feeling. 

Many of my wonderful friends had scars from motorcycle accidents. Lots of traffic up curvy, roads surrounded by greenery and local businesses. Crossing the street is up to you! Take your hand out, and walk in front of fast-moving traffic. They will stop for you, but don’t hesitate. They also drive on the opposite side of the road, so that’s confusing. 

I honestly really miss it, what a place it was and a blessing to be shown all these coffee shops and restaurants by locals. We would go to this mall in a big group of us after the English program, and I just loved the togetherness. 

28. Dressing how I want to

So the thing about representing Christ in many countries is that many think the USA is a Christian nation, and when they see a white person, many assume they are Christian. They, then, equate Christians to the attributes of the Americans they see or hear in movies, shows, and music. Part of our job was to show Jesus followers clothed in love, honor, gentleness, and respect.

I had local friends tell me they thought Americans would swear all the time, be sleeping around, and not behave in an honoring, or to them, ethical way. They told me volunteers like us changed their perceptions as they found so much love and goodness and closeness to and passion for our Lord in us. 

Alcohol is a huge no, no in Islam, which I really respect. Men should not touch women in public, which was refreshing. In their young men, I saw a whole lot of servanthood and character. 

In some ways, I wish America was more universally respectful with an ethical code like they have. Some of my friends found it so surprising and sad how the norm is for people to live together before marriage in our country; I completely agree. Boy, I wish Americans would not act like they are married until they are in an unconditional covenant with God together making space for every child to have a committed mother and father. 

Yet, many of my friends in these countries struggled with the strictness of it all. One of my friends, didn’t want to get married necessarily. But in her faith, she had heard that through a husband you get saved. Her parents said they would arrange a marriage if she wasn’t married before 25 since it is wrong to them for a younger sibling to get married before an older one. 

I told her my journey with singleness and how it is celebrated and encouraged for women and men in the Bible (1 Cor 7). 

Women of the Islamic faith cover most of their body, which I respect their hearts behind it. In general, for all faiths in these countries, it is not respectable for women to show their shoulders or anything above their knees. 

It was hard when it is so hot, and I just wanted to wear what has been the norm my whole life. But it is important to honor and respect all, that we make no hindrance to the gospel of Christ (1 Cor 9:12)

The truth is in Christ we are free and not defined by anything but his blood, yet we make ourselves slaves, like Paul says, to lead others to our Lord.

My opinion is that’s why America, that has Christian roots, is in reality not that legalistic and is based on freedom. 

I started to feel scandalous showing more skin when the norm is to not in these countries. That is just a part of culture and the affect of the majority around you though. Like in Africa, previous racer friends told me that women’s top half can be completely exposed, yet showing their knees is not acceptable.

I prefer their modesty in a lot of ways, but I am grateful to wear whatever again without worrying about offending others.

29. Not having to sensor my body language and volume

I learned in school about high context, low context cultures. These countries are high context, so much of communication is implicit rather than explicit. This means the littlest of gestures to us can really be offensive to them. 

In my third country especially. Rooted in Buddhism, the head is the most holy part of the body and the feet are the least. You are flipping someone off if you point your feet towards them. Quietness is so highly valued in this culture that we can really offend them with our volume as Americans, which I think is pretty cool. When we were crossing the border, I saw a clear instance of this as all 30 of my squad-mates were so excited and loud, and a worker angrily silenced us. 

There are numerous greetings done with your hands put together in different forms. It varies based on if your greeting someone older than you, with more authority, or a service-worker. 

In this country showing negative emotions is not common (so much so I heard there are different smiles for each emotion); how you appear to others can be everything I’ve heard. We were told a story of a Buddhist monk who converted to Christianity and how it took him a long time to think that maybe we need to confront our shortcomings and honestly portray ourselves. 

Also in the first countries we modified something as simple as standing (not with crossed arms) or pointing (not with your finger). I think the cultural nuances are awesome, but I’m grateful to be back where I can express myself naturally how I learned.

30. Efficient supplies/options

Especially in my second country, I noticed cleaning supplies or machines that were less efficient than what I am used to. 

We swept the church floor with bamboo sticks rather than a vacuum. The special needs school we volunteered at couldn’t afford a copier so they hand-copied all the papers. My colored markers were fought over by the children. Something so simple to us is a luxury to many around the world. 

31. A dryer and a dishwasher

Yup, we hand-dried our clothes and hand-washed our dishes. Apparently on the average Race, you spend the majority of your time hand washing all your clothes, so I cannot really complain. I’m grateful to have these luxuries back home. (I also really cannot complain, because my first month two amazing older ladies did our laundry for us, all folded up so nicely!)

32. A happy stomach

The first month lets say my digestive system wasn’t adjusted or happy.

33. Silence, Colorado air and views

The clean and cool mountain air is irreplaceable. Silence when going to bed or walking through the forest is a privilege, while getting away from people to process meant sitting in a hot laundry room my second month. I saw incredible beauty abroad, but I’m awe struck that I live in these beautiful Rockies.

34. Mental health awareness

This one absolutely breaks my heart. Most of us recognize a battle in America for mental health to not be a stigma. The first country I went to did not seem to have an understanding of depression and anxiety and the need for counseling.

Some of my coolest moments were when God placed hurting people in front of me. I connected with people who deal with anxiety and depression and have their greatest passions disapproved of by their parents as neither are culturally acceptable. 

I didn’t judge them when they said they needed counseling or to take medication. I got to tell them your struggle is real and so hard, God loves and sees you, and try your best to not be isolated.

I heard devastating stories like a father being murdered, and supported a friend the night someone close to her died. 

Teen suicide in the second town we stayed in is so common. I pray God would rise up and defend people with mental illness everywhere and bring salvation and healing and freedom in Jesus name. 

35. Paying by card

It was always a gamble if a business took card, therefore we had to frequent the ATM and borrow each other’s money often. Gets complicated with the foreign currency rates.

36. The ability to travel

In a previous blog, I mentioned that the most amazing hostel with an infinity pool and mountain, ocean, and city views cost $13 a night. 

Some locals traveled that I met and many had the desire and the passion to do so. Yet our dollar goes so much further; it costs soooo much more for them to travel. The amount we paid/fundraised to serve across the world is unthinkable and unattainable for most. Flying and traveling is the greatest blessing to me, may we steward it well. 

I had deep conversations about why my squadmates and I did the Race and how we made it work. Many locals of all faiths said they admired us giving up our career paths to serve their people. 

37. YOU 

I am grateful more than anything to be back with, you, people from home that I love.

My parents have loved me unconditionally and with freedom, clothing me and building me up always. Also providing the way of generosity, hospitality, and selflessness. I am so grateful to be back with them, and my wonderful siblings I feel close to. I love my family more than ever though I love God more than I love them more than ever. 

My family provided a safe home and endless opportunity. I have lived a truly blessed life without huge tragedy. Yet, wherever you live and whoever you are, life is hard. Only Christ can satisfy and fill every broken human heart (John 16:33). 

My family also has put so many incredibly loving people into my upbringing from my Uncle who encourages me often to my Aunt who cares for me like her own to my Grandad who taught us to love and live fully to fun and loving family friends like the Taylors to so many others that make Colorado great. 

My friends in Colorado you have been like rocks to me. You are down to earth, adventurous, creative, goofy, and caring. I am so grateful for you. 

My friends and professors in Oregon you are hard-working difference makers that have taught me so much and loved me, honored me so well and given me memories of a lifetime. 

My friends across the world, I pinch my self that I get to know and learn from your hearts, culture, passions, thoughts, and be loved so well by you. 

People are fascinating and the human spirit inspiring in times like these. 

You are beautifully and wonderfully made by a good, good Father who did everything he could to show you His love and to reconcile you back into intimacy with Him and into His family through sending his Son to die and redeem all things. I pray you will accept this free gift today, ask Jesus, who is eternal life, into your heart.

It is by far a million trillion times the thing I am most grateful for; Christ Jesus my Lord and Savior. In him, we lack absolutely nothing; we have God’s loving, comforting, guiding Presence living inside of us, and it is God’s desire for all (Psalms 23, John 14, 2 Peter 3:9)!

This would be called the best love story of all time <3